dirty valentines day jokes for adults

(could be for a friend you love) Im so glad your mum didnt swallow. After all, everyone loves a pun (and some candy). So if you're looking to giggle with a gal pal (or send your sweetie a message), you can use these dirty Valentine's Day jokes as a way to show them what's to come. By saying, "I love ewe. Why is getting your partner a kitten for Valentines Day a good idea? What am I?ArrowWhats the maximum speed limit during sex?68. Valentine's Day has its haters. They said it was a date. mesurer votre utilisation de nos sites et applications. How did the coin propose to his girlfriend? Because Yoda only one for me! I discharge loads from my shaft. Thats one of the short adult jokes. Q: What Valentine's Day candy is best to give a girl? Hilarious jokes you'll definitely fall for. What's the best recipe for a perfect morning on February 14? So, here are some dirty things you can only get away with saying on Valentine's Day. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. ", Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Gimme some sugar! ", 32. What am I?TentWhats long and hard when its young and soft and small when its old?A candle.What is the difference between a womans G-spot and a quarter?Men actually have a chance of finding a quarter when they search for it. Santa goes through the chimney for what reason? Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now. Valentine's Day memes:60 hilarious memes for Valentine's Day lovers or cynics. My ideal body weight is yours on top of mine. faye valentine. How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine? Guppy love. What do you call a colorful heart that loves books? 16. Ill be the 6, you be the 9. Planning to throw some dirty mind questions at your buddies during the party? Lets skip the chocolate-covered strawberries. Cheeky jokes and poems for Valentine's Day From the outright dirty to the naughty - here are some jokes you can include in your cards to inject a bit of humour into your Valentine's. They're getting married in the spring! I go in and out of your mouth in a rhythmic pattern. Whether it's single people who feel targeted for not being cuffed up or couples who just don't want the pressure, it's the one holiday where some folks vocally take a stand against celebrating. Food It must have been a really bad one we work on a submarine.What do you get when you mix human DNA and goat DNA?You get kicked out of the petting zoo.How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant?He forgot to wrap his Whopper!Whats the difference between you and the refrigerator?The refrigerator doesnt moan when I put my meat in it.What do a boyfriend/girlfriend and a math test have in common?Theyre both something we could cheat on.A husband says to his wife, Why dont you tell me when you orgasm?She replies, I dont like calling you when youre at work.I told my mom that I have an Oedipus complex.She asked if I was serious, and I said, Nah, Im just fucking with you.Did you hear Lorena Bobbit just died?Yeah I heard she was on the freeway and some dick cut her off.My bae told me that s/x is better on vacation.It wasnt the best postcard Ive ever received.How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?By the taste.My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, I shaved my pussy you know what that means?I said, Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again.. Family Friendly It doesnt have your number in it. Can't wait to receive nothing on Valentine's Day! Well, dont you get tense because we have got you covered with a bunch of dirty jokes to share with your friends and family. "Espresso yourself.". After all, life is nothing more than a huge, nasty joke. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird. How do you make a pool table laugh?Tickle its balls.An old woman walked into a dentists office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. Give it to me! she yelled. You are such a sexy person. 2023 USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Satellite Information Network, LLC. 10. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. There is no shame in accepting for your bawdy sense of humor and rolling on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies. How to create your own funny website and make money in the comedy sector! People may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Im surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!If theyre making cakes for divorces, why not Happy Menopause! Mmm, its a bit dry. Me: "No. Steamboats. Feb 6, 2022 - what may be the world's largest collection of dirty, punny and cheesy Valentine's Day cards. What is it?Legs.Most of the time when I go in, I cause some pain. Lingerie is half-off in stores today, but in my bedroom, its going to be 100% off. Men usually give it to their wives once they are married. Anal makes your hole weak.Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman?A man will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and knobs.How is playing bridge similar to sex?If you dont have a good partner, you better have a good hand.What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say when clients are leaving?Thanks for coming!Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?To get to the bottom.Did you know about the hole in the walls of houses in the nudist colony?The police are looking into it.Whats the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?Two Test-ticklesWant to know how to fit 71 people in the car?2 in the front while we handle 69 in the back.What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?They both take it in the back and go whoot whoot.How is a thunderstorm similar to sex?You never know how many inches you will get or how long it will last.Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?They dont have balls to scratch.Ill admit it, I have a tremendous s*x drive. What kind of flowers shouldn't you gift your girlfriend? You always play with me in bed before you get to sleep. What did the flower say to his unrequited love? "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. I mostly live in your pants and I am always in your mind, you cannot live without me. What should you say to your single friends on Valentines Day? You can always count on me. USA I dont have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out? The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you." Why not share these jokes at the end of the day when only the adults are left standing? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Fall Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together. Give me some sugar. How did the tennis ball flirt with the racquet? Man on a Valentine's date: "Yes I'm worried it's going to be expensive". Two lovers, the girl and the boy, were walking on those in a park.Suddenly, the boy, knowing that Valentine's Day is coming, stops and asks his girlfriend: 0 0 "My dear boyfriend, what do you want to receive or do on Valentine's Day?"I wish to go to a warm, clean place, full of fresh scents, have fresh air, and go on the balcony. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?I want you inside me.I bet you cant tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time, a husband says to his wife. Inspirational Why did the dad approve of his daughter's goalie-boyfriend? I came three times trying to wash that shit off.Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say dont and if he touches your pussy say stop?Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said dont stopIts not that the man didnt know how to juggle He just didnt have the balls to do it.I took a poop in the elevator. If Im going to have sex, its going to be on my own Accord.What do a penis and Rubiks cube have in common?The more you play with it, the harder it gets.Whats the speed limit in bed?Its 68. Texting short nasty jokes to your partner on occasion might help keep the flame alive in the relationship. Got a sweetheart this Valentine's Day? 61 Valentine's Day Gifts For Your Daughter. Maybe you're looking for the perfect pun to caption your Galentine's Day photo of friends. All his friendships were completely pla-tonic. After the dirty jokes treat together with your co-adults play thisSongs With Filthy Lyrics. A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, Honey, I shaved myself down there. What am I?Nose.Ive currently got a stalker. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?Hold on to your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob.What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep shit.Did you hear about the constipated accountant?He couldnt budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married?The wedding ring.Whats the difference between a prince and a booger?A prince is an heir to the throne. 33. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. Lie to me!. Maybe you'll even impress them with both your dirty mind and your creativity. Some of us are more deviant than others. After all, roses may be red, violets may be blue, but one thing's for surewe've got the all-time greatest Valentine's jokes for you! As they had not been dating very long, it was a very difficult decision. "Tweethearts.". How many other jokes can one make off 'Man walks into a bar?'? Were not suggesting you should stop making infantile jokes since we find them entertaining as well. 20. I can be more fun when I vibrate. Al who?Al give you a kiss if you open this door!Knock, knock.Whos there?Ima ReillyIma Reilly who?Ima Reilly excited to see you naked later.Knock, knock.Whos there?Nicholas! (for a not so subtle way of asking her for sex) Let my pork see your pie! dvelopper et amliorer nos produits et services. Then I remembered. The best (and corniest) jokes for Valentine's Day So here they are: the best Valentine's Day jokes that have tickled our funny bones and warmed our hearts. Fun Valentines game for couples The romantic anagrams challenge! What did the light bulb say to the switch? Whats inside me tastes great in your mouth. Sending hilarious short dirty jokes to a mate may be a lot of fun, and you can wind up laughing your lungs out together. Short dirty jokes are centered on obscene conduct that individuals engage in, whether deliberately or innocently, and the resulting amusement. A cauliflower! I look back as an adult and I think, Oh, she obviously wanted to empower me to find my own pleasure. It had the exact opposite effect there is no way you can enjoy yourself with a man between your legs if youre thinking, Hmm, Mumd be proud.The only thing I can offer to put ladies at ease is that I am of no sexual threat whatsoever. So, grab a box of chocolates to snack on, write out your Valentine messages (or Valentine's Day Instagram captions! Valentines day is one big scam. PS: The sales lady says the latest style is to wear them folded down with just a little fur showing. Heres What We Found. Its almost Valentines Day, do you know what that means? All of his friendships were so pla-tonic. I love you around the clock, I love your body, your mind and your soul, And not just your massive heart. 46. 13. When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'." Whats the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.What goes in hard and comes out close and wet?Chewing gum.A guy is sitting at the doctors office. One of the nasty jokes forher. Si vous ne souhaitez pas que nos partenaires et nousmmes utilisions des cookies et vos donnes personnelles pour ces motifs supplmentaires, cliquez sur Refuser tout. Valentine's Day 2023:When is the holiday and why do we celebrate it? How did the phone propose to his girlfriend on Valentines Day? Ben who?Ben down and lick my boots!Knock, knock.Whos there?Anita.Anita who?Anita you inside me.Knock, knock.Whos there?Dewey! What am I?A last nameI am dirty, I love being filled with wood, but someone only goes down on me once a year. He found her to be very attractive. Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?A guy will actually search for a golf ball.Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with, I cant talk now, Im going into a tunnel.Whats the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?One snatches your watch. The doctor walks in and says, I have some bad news. What Valentine's message can you find in a honeycomb? For us being adults, dirty jokes become more acceptable and entertaining alternative in any situation. Time to stop the waffle and enjoy the silly jokes. If you are easily offended or require a safe environment, these nasty jokes are not for you! her father asks in shock. Her heart wasn't in it. They're known for their hearts. In the end, I make you happy and confident. Why does he always land on the roof? Vodka costs less, Than a dinner for two. You fiddle with me when youre bored. What am I?Your wedding band.Dirty mind test: What starts with d and ends with ick?Drumstick.What gets wetter when things get steamy?Steamboats.Im hard and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside. Is your name Chapstick? "You're one in a melon! This has no impact on the price you pay :). I hope you'll wear them Friday night for me." I was wondering why my feet got cold. What did the baker say to his wife on V-Day? "Since Valentine's Day is a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" 48. Cupid called, he wants his arrow back. Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started "Whale you be mine?". What did one piece of toast say to the other on Valentines Day? "I'm stuck on you.". Im wearing red lace for the holiday. Antelope. They lived harpily ever after. Riddles pique our attention. It is, indeed. What happens if you fall in love with a French chef? The best man always has me first. Africa 1. Who always has a date on Valentine's Day? Cute love background. What did the baker say to his wife on Valentines Day? Im training to be an astronaut, and my first mission is to explore Uranus. 4. I play a major role in the film industry. What am I?A bowling ball. 60 hilarious memes for Valentine's Day lovers or cynics. Im like butter, you can spread me anytime. Of course, a fantastic joke full of snark and sarcasm. In truth, without a little mischief, especially as children, our lives would be pretty boring. Make sure to tell some of the nicest and short adult jokes that will make the other person think of you as a humorous person. valentine jokes for adults. I always penetrate with the tip first and I always come with a quiver. What am I?Tweets.What do newly married couples get on their wedding day thats long and sometimes hard?A new last name.Whats the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?The taste.I want to be inside you every day, and you can set me to vibrate for extra fun. It is inappropriate to have sex in an elevator. Plus, the biggest turn-on for most folks is laughter, so it's totally acceptable to get a little silly in bed, and maybe even drop a dad joke or two. February 13, 2022 12:42 pm (Updated February 13, 2022 12: . "Give it to me! Obviously, they dont know that yet.I bought a box of condoms earlier today. "Osama Bin Laden," she says. What kind of dinner does Cupid eat? Amazing Funny Facts and Crazy Statistics! Funny Quotes and Sayings Brain Teaser Worry not, because Metro.co.uk has compiled a list of the rudest, tongue-in-cheek-est, blush-inducing jokes for Valentines Day. We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. Roses are redViolets are blueMy knickers get wetJust thinking of you. MORE : How your star sign can find love and who with this Valentines Day, MORE : Deliveroo is giving out free starters and desserts this Valentines Day. Which new Taylor Swift tune is the best couple's song for two ghosts to share? Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. Do you have a large bone youd like me to examine? Tap To Copy. Your email address will not be published. 6. Trivia Questions 14. - 23 Mar 2022. Catch a glimpse of these dirty jokes and gear up yourself for a comfortable laugh. Do you know what this shirt is made of? 5. Why couldnt the mineral water ever score a date? I can't wait for Valentine's Day because I get to make cupcakes for a special someone and that special someone is me. Give it to me! Roses are red, violets are blue, f*ck the flowers and candy, I just wanna screw. What did one molecule say to the other? 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side. Whats the best part about Valentines Day? The young man mailed his Valentine's Day gift with the following note: Europe Why does a mermaid wear seashells?Because she outgrew her B-shells!Your face reminds me of a wrench; every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.What does one boob say to the other boob?If we dont get support, people will think were nuts.Why is sex like math?You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray theres no multiplying.Im not calling you a slut, Im calling you a penny: two faced, worthless, and in everyones pants.Did you hear about the guy who died because he was erect for too long?They couldnt close his casket.What do mice and gay people have in common?They are both enemies of pussies.I wish you were my big toe. What did one Bloody Mary say to the other on Valentines Day? "Ouch! Love, Cuddle Bear He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. Fans go wild over moment Kate jokes with Prince William about Six Nation results at St David's Day parade - before affectionately rubbing his arm in a rare PDA He REALLY is Benjamin Button! Kelly Sillaste // Getty Images. Check out these dirty minded knock knock jokes that will keep everyone guessing. Dirty Valentine's one-liners (so cute!) Whats the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak? ", Related: 100 Unique Valentine's Day Gifts, 26. All Rights Reserved. By stealing too many hearts. Mary. Tonight, you're going to need a safe word, and the safe word is "be mine." Cards. Give it to me!" she yelled. He gave her a ring. Are you copper and tellurium? Lovebugs. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 39. But I refused. Discover these short dirty jokes and get a good chuckle. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Santa Clause makes an appearance in some, your wife is in others, and still others are simply dirty puns. Why did the banana go out with the prune? Vector template. When is the holiday and why do we celebrate it? When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. Why is there no jam? Frame design with cute paint drawing hearts. I had her try yours on for me and they looked quite lovely." After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, Damn, I wish I had a flashlight! The woman says, Me too, youve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!Do you need a carpenter?Because I could nail you then hammer you.What are the 2 most important holes in a womans body?Her nostrils.Are you a coconut?I want to smash you until all the white stuff comes out.Why are women like Popeyes?Because once youre done with the breast and thighs all you have is an empty box to put your bone-in.What do a boyfriend and a spider have in common?Women always exaggerate how big it is.Whats the difference between your penis and a bonus check?Someones always willing to blow your bonus.Why dont witches wear underwear?Because they need a better grip.I didnt have sex at all, not a scrap til I was 67. How do I want thee? 10. Healthy Environment Tomorrow is Valentine's day. Who am I?A toothbrush.Whats the difference between Covid and your legs?I dont want Covid to spread.A Christian friend of mine said that sex between two men is wrong in their eyes.I said, Youre right, its supposed to be up the bum! 27. ", Check out:175 Bad JokesJokes for KidsChristmas JokesHalloween Jokes101Corny Jokes. You wear me for protection every time you feel not so comfortable with what you are dipping yourself into. Hi, my names Microsoft. 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes), MOST Corny and Cheesy Jokes That Will Make You Groan at its Corniness, Funny Questions to Ask That Will Make Everyone Burst Out Laughing, A Collection of Funny Knock Knock Jokes Perfect for Every Occasion, Jail Jokes Will Keep You Laughing Until Your Cell Is Empty, Laugh Out Loud at These Ski Jokes While Enjoying Downhill Skiing, Perfect Statistics Jokes to Crack in Class, Unicorn Jokes That Will Make Your Little Believer Laugh, Funny Vacuum Jokes That Will Make You Laugh While You Clean, Alligator Jokes You Wont Scare To Laugh At. Winter Can you tell us about Peter Pans favorite place to eat out? Instead, capture someone's heart with our Valentine's Day jokes for kids. Its the purr-fect gift. "I'm nuts about you.". Whats Santas secret? What did the romantic sing after she got a paper cut? A heart-y one. What am I?Their last name.Want to know a proven way a man and woman can be friends without s3x?Marriage. The reception was amazing. When You Are Strictly Not In Love. Your horoscope for March 4, 2023, This is the number of sexual partners the average Brit has had, Doctor explains why some men faint or get nosebleeds when they get an erection, inject a bit of humour into your Valentines Day, How your star sign can find love and who with this Valentines Day, Deliveroo is giving out free starters and desserts this Valentines Day, Do not sell or share my personal information. After careful consideration, he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves. Why shouldnt you fall in love with a pastry chef? There's so much I'd like to do to you. Which type of flower is the best at giving smooches? Lorsque vous utilisez nos sites et applications, nous utilisons des, authentifier les utilisateurs, appliquer des mesures de scurit, empcher les spams et les abus; et. And who knows? Music All women have only two. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didnt know either.What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?She gagged.Whats a lesbians love language?Speaking in tongue.A dad tells his son Stop masturbating! Roses are red but its not just violets that are blue this Valentines Day get a little bit risqu with your not-so-sweet message to your sweetheart. Sex with me these days is akin to thumbing marshmallows into the anus of a cat.What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common?They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time youre inside them.A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. Dirty minded jokes are never meant to be decent; instead, they are always inappropriate yet funny. If you play your cards right, 2-14 is gonna add up to 69. These are some of the best dirty Valentines jokes we know of but if you know better ones share them in the comments below. Im afraid youre going to have to stop masturbating. I dont understand, doc, the patient says. Browse 149 dirty valentines day jokes stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. Celebration Looking for a craft to send to your sweetheart this Valentine's Day? What do you call a couple who met on Twitter? Travel and Backpacker Tear off your underwear. The man asked the florist to make a bouquet out of the ferns and the flask of liquor. 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor. I can fill your holes when asked to. Why did all the other fruit ask the banana to be their Valentine? 28. After a romantic candlelight dinner, he presented his wife with the gift. Riddles ", 3. He'd probably gift a box of chocolates. How did the vegetable politely ask for a date? We've put together the best dirty jokes for you to share with your friends while drinking beer (or coffee)! If you were a triangle, youd be acute one. Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house.What the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?Ive never let a garbanzo bean on my chest.If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have?Three feet of my cock up your ass.Congratulations! Whats the best portion of your body to put into a pie? The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. We are frequently advised not to take life too seriously. 19. "Well-red. Why were the forks disappointed on Valentine's Day? . (one for the ladies to tell your partner) I love you with all my tits! Sports And cringe. It can sometimes feel good when I am blown and sometimes, it can be painful. There is no shame in accepting for your bawdy sense of humor and rolling on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies. The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood.". What do you call someone with a cold on Valentine's Day? Both men and women go down on me. Waiter: "Do you have reservations?". 7. Hey, it beats folding. 4. These are strictly for adults only because many of them are a bit rude, but not all of them! Joe Calzaghe's glamour model ex-girlfriend stashed 2M dirty money in six suitcases on single flight to Dubai and texted her partner she was 'in at the deep end' as member of 100M smuggling . ", 50. Show your Valentine theyre special by rattling off some silly one-liners. Because Im trying to go from cacti to cactus. This holiday may be named after a saint, but nothing Im going to do to you tonight is church-sanctioned. A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: Sense of Humor Roses are red, violets are blue That's what they say, but it just isn't true! Why are artichokes so beloved? As we become older, we find clean jokes less humorous as we have a lot more adult sense of humor: hence we prefer funny short adult jokes that cant make us stop laughing. Because you definitely have my interest. Protect me, Im going in. Why do air fresheners love Valentine's Day? "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! I personally am on the fence.What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?Thanks for coming!How does a woman scare a gynecologist?By becoming a ventriloquist. Do you know the real meaning of Valentines Day? Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry, dear. He gave her a jingle. This holiday may be named after a saint, but nothing I'm going to do to you tonight is church-sanctioned. Why did the magnet hit on the refrigerator? But for the rest of you, drop some dirty talk lines for Valentine's Day and ring in the holiday in style and by that, I mean in bed. What does a vampire call his Valentine? Why didn't the two dogs make serious Valentine's Day plans? Dewey who?Dewey have a condom handy?Knock, knock.Whos there?Baghdad.Baghdad who?Id love to see you Baghdad butt up.Knock, knock.Whos there?Ivan. 2 Funniest pizza jokes; 3 Pizza knock-knock jokes; 4 Pizza delivery jokes: 5 Cheesy pizza jokes: 6 Pineapple pizza jokes: 7 Halloween pizza jokes: 8 Pizza jokes for adults: 9 Dirty pizza jokes: 10 Corny pizza jokes: 11 Pizza dad jokes: 12 Pizza box jokes: 13 Dumb pizza jokes: 14 Deep dish pizza jokes: 15 Pizza Hut jokes: Copyright 2023 Distractify. She opened the card to read, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." 8. Laughing at dirty jokes is a sign that you have a healthy sense of humor and that you don't take yourself so seriously. He gave her a ring. (Use index finger to call someone over and then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? His heart wasnt in it. What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? Butdirty adult jokes, on the other hand, may be are more acceptable and entertaining pick as you become older. $10.00 (30% off) More like this. Be mine. You're like my favorite card in a deck: the king/queen of *my* heart.